10/30/14

Rinso - Very happy to see.

Hey, dish users! Do you want to get unnaturally, inappropriately excited about laundry? You can be as cranked as these Rinso ladies. How? Coffe enemas! or Rinso!

Yeah, apparently some people have found that the colon is a very quick way to get anything absorbed into your system in huge amounts... dangerously so. I think it has something to do with the fact that your large intestine's job is to absorb nutrients, and it's meant to receive stuff that's been processed by all the organs "up north" first, softening the blow. Pour mind-altering stuff directly into it, and all that surface area works hard to absorb everything real quick. People put almost anything where the sun don't shine. Beer and coffee being notable examples. Apparently, young frat bros sometimes die of alcohol poisoning this way. If you've ever met a frat bro, you may not have a strong reaction to this news. Go ask an ER person, or type things into a search box for yourself, because I'm sure as hell not going to. I heard about this stuff on medical podcasts and Spike TV, before I cancelled cable, having learned everything I needed to know about the world. Thank you, television. Learning complete!

Aaaanyhoo, so yeah, Rinso. If you want to be pants-moisteningly thrilled about doing laundry, go get some, if they still make it, or whatever. Graphic gift time? Graphic gift time!!!

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These unreasonably happy ladies don't have to be talking about Rinso. Think of all they could do for you if you put your own text in that box. You're welcome!

"Ooooooo, someone got a vasectomy!"

"Nothing says 'I love you' like Trouser-Fresh!"

"Did someone say 'reverse mortgage'?"


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