2/18/11

Test Tubes - Drips and drabs.

Joke #1 - Lab notes for UrineBlast prototype cola test batch number 46. Still tastes like piss. May try changing the name.

Joke #2 - As late as 1994, Guy Laroche was still working on a formulation of Drakkar Noir that didn't smell like the inside of a Pontiac Grand Am. Phone messages of promotional offers from GM went unanswered while Guy desperately tried to leave the eighties behind. During this difficult time, his companion Bryce was his only comfort.

Joke #3 - A rare look inside the test kitchen at PepsiCo during the annual fine-tuning of the Mountain Dew recipe. The conclusion: add some more sugar.

Joke #4 - Danny Kaye's most ambitious project came to light in 1953: the distillation of pure joy without the need for production of dance-related films.

Joke #5 - A rare look inside the test kitchen at Pepsico during the annual fine-tuning of the Aquafina recipe. The conclusion: the two atoms of H are good, but perhaps the O should be switched to Osmium? Marketing believes it would still be profitable at $1 a bottle.

Joke #6 - A Papal chemist, hard at work in the Vatican laboratory, trying to find the formula for The Milk of Human Kindness that will allow the dismantling of the human milking farms.

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