1969 Cadillac Eldorado - Shorten, then add brevity.

Lotus is an English car company that has this design philosophy: "Simplify, then add lightness." This makes for cars that are very fun to drive. Cadillac has always been comfortable at the other end of that scale, with something like "Embiggen, then add largeness." The car in this 1969 ad was Cadillac's idea of a "coupe".

Two doors, and eighteen and a half feet long. Wowzers. Let's see if we can't show Cadillac what a coupe really means.

Yeeeaaahhh. With the help of Photoshop's reciprocating saw tool, we trimmed out maybe three feet of clunky, useless wheelbase, leaving the gigantic overhangs (body length that exists behind the rear wheels and in front of the front wheels) in place. Toss a few dictionaries in the trunk and this thing might actually manage to do a wheelie for you. No, wait, it couldn't. It's front wheel drive. Oh well. Maybe in reverse?

Anyway, please enjoy this Cadillac in normal and Cliff's Notes versions by right-clicking these PNGs onto your hard drive's multicar pileup. You're welcome!

And maybe, just maybe, you're weird enough to want to walk around with the stupid stubby version of this Cadillac on a shirt? Well, we got you covered, weirdo. We just added it to our Spreadshirt shop, for some reason. Guess what? You're still welcome! https://shop.spreadshirt.com/PhilAreGo/1011529390?q=I1011529390